Video 04 → No, Really, I'm Just Curious.

[irregular]

[Filtered from Weiss]

[Ken, wearing a blue apron, is standing in what appears to be the stockroom of Nectar.]

So...

[He hesitates for a moment, gazing around himself apprehensively, clearly worried he might be overheard. When he turns back to the screen, he closes his eyes briefly and takes a deep breath, as if steeling himself for something.]

What would it take to make you decide you couldn't be yourself any more?

Comments

[alphaophiuchi]

[Draco questions your self-questioning hypothetical questions. Especially ones that make him think.]

Quite a lot. I can't think of many reasons why I wouldn't want to be myself. [then mostly to himself:] Except maybe that.

What kind of question is that, anyway?

[insorrow.livejournal.com]

Oh, it's... just something I've been thinking about lately. I know it's kinda a weird question.

[Ken hates lying. He is also very, very bad at it, especially if the person he's lying to can see his face. If he tries, though, he can at least manage 'evasive'.]

Do you think you'd have to be really unhappy with yourself to change like that?

[doctor-tatsu27.livejournal.com]

Having no other choice.

[He's seen it happen before.]

[insorrow.livejournal.com]

Really?

[Weirdly, he'd been hoping to hear something like that.]

I guess. Anything's better than nothing, right?

[seiryuu-warrior.livejournal.com]

Why do you ask?

[Yeah. This struck him though he's not showing it.]

[insorrow.livejournal.com]

It's just been kinda bugging me the last few days. It's no big deal, really.

[stoicism.livejournal.com]

[Only before coming to Somarium did Frank begin to embrace his true self. By no fault of his own, he'd spent years repressing all forms of emotion and attachment to others, repressing his memories. To go back to that life is something he can never allow himself to do. This question piques his interest.]

...Why would you willingly decide to be anything other than yourself?

[insorrow.livejournal.com]

I dunno. I don't think I ever would, but... some people do, right?

I just don't get it.

[stillneedsakiss.livejournal.com]

This is about Omi... isn't it?

[1/2]

[insorrow.livejournal.com]

I... guess I shouldn't have said anything. Sorry, I--

[2/2]

[insorrow.livejournal.com]

--I just don't understand, Aya! I... kinda hoped someone else would.

I really shouldn't be doing this but OH GOD you pinged her.

[xwargoddess.livejournal.com]

There isn't anything that could make me give myself up. That's the coward's way out, okay?

[This hedges a little too close to what she fought and died to prevent: parasitic brain slugs that take away your free will and make you into their puppets. And there is nothing that pisses Rachel off as much as those 'voluntary Controllers' who willingly surrendered their lives to the Yeerks, who willingly betrayed themselves.]

I don't care what the problem is. Get pushed, push back. You fight as hard as you can, but you don't give up. You don't give in.

If 'not being yourself anymore' is the only solution you can think of, keep thinking.

[insorrow.livejournal.com]

I'm not asking for myself!

[Someone's defensive. That would be because someone also agrees with everything she's saying - or thought he did up until a few days ago, anyway. He just can't work out how he's supposed to keep on thinking that when someone like Omi could--

[No, it just doesn't make sense. And the more he talks about this, the more confused he's starting to feel.]

I mean-- it's just something's been bugging me the last couple days. You're right. There's got to be a better way. God damn it!

[unfearful.livejournal.com]

... If I felt like my current self couldn't do anything, I guess--though I've never been in that kind of situation, so I can't say for certain. It's not really something I believe in doing, either way.

[insorrow.livejournal.com]

I don't really either. I guess it's kind of why I was asking... Sure there've been times I've had to get used to something weird pretty damn fast, but not that much!

[always-forgot.livejournal.com]

In what way?

[insorrow.livejournal.com]

How many ways are there?

[kyudousha.livejournal.com]

Nothing. Deciding to not be yourself is the same as refusing to acknowledge what you really are. And if you aren't willing to put effort into acknowledging yourself, then what are you willing to put effort into?

[insorrow.livejournal.com]

Wouldn't it also take a lotta effort to not be yourself? I mean... it'd be kinda pointless to work so hard on that when you didn't have to but I don't have to think how to be me, I can just do it. I wouldn't know how to change like that.

It must be pretty hard.

[noodlearrms.livejournal.com]

Nothing, because that's dumb.

[insorrow.livejournal.com]

... yeah. You're probably right.

This whole thing is just stupid.

[notyourdouble.livejournal.com]

Maybe it depends on how much you know about yourself in the first place.

[insorrow.livejournal.com]

So, say you'd forgotten a load of stuff about your past already. You think it'd be easier to decide that who you were was wrong?

[Yes, this is all totally hypothetical. Really.]

[theignorantfool.livejournal.com]

[Ed doesn't really pay much attention to interacting on the Dreamberry, but this caught his attention. Or ... he was responding, before even realizing it - eyebrow quirked.]

Why would anyone do that?

[insorrow.livejournal.com]

That's where I'm getting stuck. I don't know. I was kind of hoping someone else did.

[boat-lights.livejournal.com]

Oh? Is this a personal question?

[insorrow.livejournal.com]

[Oh, hello again.]

It's just been bugging me for a few days is all. What do you want?

[popstar]

[Well, that hit pretty close to home. She's not exactly looks straight at the Dreamberry's camera when she answers.]

There's a lot of things that could make someone think that, I guess.

[insorrow.livejournal.com]

Yeah... you're right.

It's kind of a stupid question, huh?

[carpo-vita.livejournal.com]

[... Somewhat of a rhetorical response, but...]

Yourself.

[insorrow.livejournal.com]

Huh? What'd you mean?