Video 04 → No, Really, I'm Just Curious.

[irregular]

[Filtered from Weiss]

[Ken, wearing a blue apron, is standing in what appears to be the stockroom of Nectar.]

So...

[He hesitates for a moment, gazing around himself apprehensively, clearly worried he might be overheard. When he turns back to the screen, he closes his eyes briefly and takes a deep breath, as if steeling himself for something.]

What would it take to make you decide you couldn't be yourself any more?

Comments

[Filtered]

[stillneedsakiss.livejournal.com]

No, I agree completely. It makes me angry, too. I wish I could just shake him sometimes...

[Filtered]

[insorrow.livejournal.com]

... well, that's probably a bit less painful than what I was thinking, but I'm with you. It's...

He just shouldn't be acting like this, dammit! He never did before, Aya! He's not a Takatori!

[Filtered]

[stillneedsakiss.livejournal.com]

I don't care what family name he picks for himself. He can be Omi Snickerdoodle for all I care. Having the name Takatori shouldn't have any bearing on who he is or how he acts. A last name doesn't decide that for you.

And I don't think anyone should give any weight to it. It makes it seem like some kind of excuse or substitute for his own free will. The fact is he's choosing to make himself miserable.

[Filtered]

[insorrow.livejournal.com]

Well he seems to think it does! It's just a name, dammit, and yet here he is all calling himself Mamoru and acting like... I don't even know what he thought he was damn well acting like! Like he's got the name so he better go round being a bastard now--

[He breaks off. That was a bit more than he would have wanted to say now or ever, and he can't say he feels any better for saying it.]

I wish he wouldn't do it, Aya. It's... I hate seeing him like that. It's just wrong.

[Filtered]

[stillneedsakiss.livejournal.com]

[Aya winces a little at the language. Not just for the word itself, but for the context in which it's being used.]

That wasn't what I saw. When I met him, I mean...

[Filtered]

[insorrow.livejournal.com]

It wasn't?

[That wince, and her words, catch Ken off-guard. The idea that this 'Mamoru' act was complicated enough to take in anything but the Original Executive Asshole act he'd pulled in that abortion of a team meeting leaves him startled - startled, and a little ashamed.

[He shouldn't have said that.]

Sorry, Aya. I didn't--

He was... kinda harsh with us. Like someone's boss. What was he like to you?

OH GOD EDITING AGAIN. Well, turn about is fair play? orz

[Filtered]

[stillneedsakiss.livejournal.com]

He was very sad...

[She paused there, wanting to give enough detail that Ken would understand, but not wanting to say too much either. There was Mamoru's privacy to consider.]

Mamoru... based on what he told me, is someone who sees responsibility and happiness as mutually exclusive concepts.

He's chosen responsibility.

(Yes it is ♥)

[Filtered]

[insorrow.livejournal.com]

That's stupid.

[Blunt Ken is blunt. He understands what she's saying, understands that it's sad - but it's also stupid. There is no getting around this fact, even if Ken did have the tact to try.]

Yeah sure it's sad he thinks he has to but why'd he wanna think like that? He's a smart guy, Aya! He's got no business being that dumb!

[Filtered]

[stillneedsakiss.livejournal.com]

[Aya hesitates.]

Yes it is.

[That was essentially what she thought too. Omi-- or Mamoru-- was a supreme idiot for resigning himself to a life of unhappiness even as she admired the sense of responsibility that it required.]

I agree. It's stupid of him. And I want to work on convincing him at the very least the two don't have to be mutually exclusive. But he hasn't just turned into someone mean. He still has the same heart, I'm sure of it!

Re: [Filtered]

[insorrow.livejournal.com]

It is. He's not-- you're right. He doesn't have to be like that, Aya. And if you wanna do that I wanna help. I... don't know how but I gotta do something, I've gotta try, I can't just sit round and watch him turn himself into--

[Another hesitation. Ken really isn't sure how he should put this.]

Damn. I'm... just really not sure I like this guy he thinks he has to be.

[Filtered]

[stillneedsakiss.livejournal.com]

...Omi is Omi, Ken. A person can take on a different name and a different personality on the outside, but that doesn't change who you are inside. It just means you're a good actor. It takes a long time-- or at the very least a major life-altering experience-- for the person you are deep down to change.

Remembering that might make it easier to deal with him when he's calling himself Mamoru. In the meantime, I don't really have any plans for what to do. Just be there for him... and hope that eventually he'll understand happiness is an option.

[Filtered]

[insorrow.livejournal.com]

Yeah... you're right. I'm sorry, Aya, I shouldn't have said that stuff.

[Filtered]

[stillneedsakiss.livejournal.com]

You don't owe me any apologies.

[Filtered]

[insorrow.livejournal.com]

Thanks, Aya.

[He gives her a small smile, but he still looks - and sounds - rather awkward. This whole thing was probably a mistake, a mistake he really shouldn't have dragged Aya into. Maybe it's time to change the subject?

[Yeah, let's try that.]

Oh, um... are you still up for exploring the mountain with me, now the weather's gotten nice? No big if you'd rather not go. I mean, I'd still really like to, but if you've got other stuff on it's no problem.

[Filtered]

[stillneedsakiss.livejournal.com]

[Aya smiles.]

I'd like that. How does tomorrow sound?

[Filtered]

[insorrow.livejournal.com]

Tomorrow sounds great, Aya, thanks. I'll come pick you up after breakfast, okay?

[Filtered]

[stillneedsakiss.livejournal.com]

Mmh. See you then.