Dream 04 → 'The Love Which Suffers'
Jul. 16th, 2010 11:18 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
irregularWarnings: Spoilers of a not exactly critical nature for the fifth episode of a ten-year-old anime series. Head canon. Nowhere near as angsty as the title might imply.
Dream Effects: A mixture of happiness, regret and love.
I'm sorry.
She's walking to the car when the handle breaks, and the bag's contents are spilled across the dusty surface of the lot. She curses - something mild, she's cursing in Japanese.
Ken hurries to her side, snatching up bottles and packets and a bag of rice, mercifully unsplit. A car honks its horn behind them and she raises her head, a hank of sun-warmed, autumn-gold hair slipping off her shoulder to fall in her face as she waves the driver back, rattling off something that Ken can't quite catch. He retrieves a bottle of soy sauce, lifts the bag from her arms. He smiles, and his smile is awkward.
Her English is a lot better than Ken's is. Ken's is clumsy, a parody. It's funny, really. The older guy (check shirt and big red face, white-guy smell with sun oil and cooking smoke) runs the store jokes with her about it. He likes her. Everyone likes her, she's an easy woman to like and if they wonder what she sees in him, they're not the only ones. The old guy says he's seen them before, these Japanese couples, but it's usually the girl hangs back and smiles and fidgets awkwardly with her hair or her bag while the guy does the talking. She laughs, and only laughs the harder when Ken scowls.
Hey, I learn English!
I know you do. Hon, he's just teasing. Come on.
Come on. The car's secondhand at the very least, it's blue and constantly dust-covered and every single time they argue about who's going to have to drive it. She doesn't like cars any more than Ken does, but the extra space is useful. Or it will be, if they ever--
Dear Yuriko
Hi there, Yuriko
Yuriko, my
Yuriko. I'm sorry.
She's standing by the window. Her mother's written another of those interminable goddamn letters and she's reading it, or rereading it, by the light of a storm. She sighs. Throws the letter to the table. Picks it up again. He tries to put his arms round her: exasperated, unwilling to be comforted, she moves away.
Honestly. She sighs, irritably. Irritably, she shakes her head. Does she think I'm incapable?
Yuriko, she's on the other side of the damn planet. Can't you just--
You're missing the point!
Can't you just chuck it away? It's not like she'll know if you've read it.
You're missing the point, Ken! She waves the letter at him. He closes his eyes, frustrated. She sends me this stuff because she thinks I can't--
For God's sake does it matter what she thinks? She's not here!
It's going to rain. The clouds rumble tentatively, almost experimentally, as if they're trying to work out what it would be like. He'd turn the lights on but what good would that do? She's just in one of those moods, she always is when she goes those letters. Just don't open them, he tells her, but she (why can't you be more like your sister?) she always does and this always happens and what the Hell's the point?
Oh, you just don't understand!
You're right, he says quietly. I don't. I'm tired of this, Yuriko, I'm going to bed.
I can't be with you tomorrow. Please--
--always katsu-don. That's not too out there, is it?
They don't like Japanese food, Ken. Weren't you listening the last five hundred times I said it?
Yeah well I don't like Australian food and I'm not complaining.
Yes, you are.
No I'm not!
Yes you are, you're complaining now--
--please, don't ask me why. I promise you it's not your fault. I just can't go. I wish I could, but I can't.
I'm sorry.I
There are other what-ifs, of course. There's a road and a mountain and a girl and he can't help but wonder what would have happened, what he'd have been like, if he'd ignored that turn-off and gone the other way - or if he'd stayed at home, sat in his room and sulked. He'd very nearly done them both...
You were always way too I should never ha Sorry for all the crossings out. I'm not very good at this.
I'm still glad we met.
Now he sits at the kitchen table (Youji shut up that's from a movie go to Hell) and labors over a letter. He looks at the clock and he's written four lines, and it's half past three in the morning and he doesn't know what to say...
The next time Ken looks up, the clock's not there any more. He's seeing her now as he first saw her, stood in a field of flowers and shaking the hair loose from her helmet. It wasn't love at first sight, nothing as (let's face facts) as corny as that. It was just the feeling, looking at her, that this woman was going to be important. That she wasn't simply going to check him for bruises then, with a smile and a wave, walk out of his life as suddenly and strangely as she had appeared. He wasn't getting out of this one that easily...
Yuriko. She stands there, one hand on her hip and she smiles - she's smiling at him.
She holds out her hand, and he takes it: that's all.
I love you, Yuriko. That's why I can't be there.
[Ken smiles in his sleep, turning onto his side and knocking the Dreamberry to the floor, where the recording cuts off. He doesn't wake up, so doesn't notice that the small cut flower on his nightstand is glowing faintly.]
Dream Effects: A mixture of happiness, regret and love.
I'm sorry.
She's walking to the car when the handle breaks, and the bag's contents are spilled across the dusty surface of the lot. She curses - something mild, she's cursing in Japanese.
Ken hurries to her side, snatching up bottles and packets and a bag of rice, mercifully unsplit. A car honks its horn behind them and she raises her head, a hank of sun-warmed, autumn-gold hair slipping off her shoulder to fall in her face as she waves the driver back, rattling off something that Ken can't quite catch. He retrieves a bottle of soy sauce, lifts the bag from her arms. He smiles, and his smile is awkward.
Her English is a lot better than Ken's is. Ken's is clumsy, a parody. It's funny, really. The older guy (check shirt and big red face, white-guy smell with sun oil and cooking smoke) runs the store jokes with her about it. He likes her. Everyone likes her, she's an easy woman to like and if they wonder what she sees in him, they're not the only ones. The old guy says he's seen them before, these Japanese couples, but it's usually the girl hangs back and smiles and fidgets awkwardly with her hair or her bag while the guy does the talking. She laughs, and only laughs the harder when Ken scowls.
Hey, I learn English!
I know you do. Hon, he's just teasing. Come on.
Come on. The car's secondhand at the very least, it's blue and constantly dust-covered and every single time they argue about who's going to have to drive it. She doesn't like cars any more than Ken does, but the extra space is useful. Or it will be, if they ever--
Yuriko. I'm sorry.
She's standing by the window. Her mother's written another of those interminable goddamn letters and she's reading it, or rereading it, by the light of a storm. She sighs. Throws the letter to the table. Picks it up again. He tries to put his arms round her: exasperated, unwilling to be comforted, she moves away.
Honestly. She sighs, irritably. Irritably, she shakes her head. Does she think I'm incapable?
Yuriko, she's on the other side of the damn planet. Can't you just--
You're missing the point!
Can't you just chuck it away? It's not like she'll know if you've read it.
You're missing the point, Ken! She waves the letter at him. He closes his eyes, frustrated. She sends me this stuff because she thinks I can't--
For God's sake does it matter what she thinks? She's not here!
It's going to rain. The clouds rumble tentatively, almost experimentally, as if they're trying to work out what it would be like. He'd turn the lights on but what good would that do? She's just in one of those moods, she always is when she goes those letters. Just don't open them, he tells her, but she (why can't you be more like your sister?) she always does and this always happens and what the Hell's the point?
Oh, you just don't understand!
You're right, he says quietly. I don't. I'm tired of this, Yuriko, I'm going to bed.
I can't be with you tomorrow. Please--
--always katsu-don. That's not too out there, is it?
They don't like Japanese food, Ken. Weren't you listening the last five hundred times I said it?
Yeah well I don't like Australian food and I'm not complaining.
Yes, you are.
No I'm not!
Yes you are, you're complaining now--
--please, don't ask me why. I promise you it's not your fault. I just can't go. I wish I could, but I can't.
I'm sorry.
There are other what-ifs, of course. There's a road and a mountain and a girl and he can't help but wonder what would have happened, what he'd have been like, if he'd ignored that turn-off and gone the other way - or if he'd stayed at home, sat in his room and sulked. He'd very nearly done them both...
I'm still glad we met.
Now he sits at the kitchen table (Youji shut up that's from a movie go to Hell) and labors over a letter. He looks at the clock and he's written four lines, and it's half past three in the morning and he doesn't know what to say...
The next time Ken looks up, the clock's not there any more. He's seeing her now as he first saw her, stood in a field of flowers and shaking the hair loose from her helmet. It wasn't love at first sight, nothing as (let's face facts) as corny as that. It was just the feeling, looking at her, that this woman was going to be important. That she wasn't simply going to check him for bruises then, with a smile and a wave, walk out of his life as suddenly and strangely as she had appeared. He wasn't getting out of this one that easily...
Yuriko. She stands there, one hand on her hip and she smiles - she's smiling at him.
She holds out her hand, and he takes it: that's all.
I love you, Yuriko. That's why I can't be there.
[Ken smiles in his sleep, turning onto his side and knocking the Dreamberry to the floor, where the recording cuts off. He doesn't wake up, so doesn't notice that the small cut flower on his nightstand is glowing faintly.]
Tags:
- .dream,
- :diva,
- :hatori sohma,
- :kiyomasa senji,
- :loki,
- :minoru tokito,
- :rei hazama,
- :youji kudou,
- a girl is talking to me help,
- actually i do have a girlfriend kudou,
- brb killing myself,
- gentians are awesome,
- i hate my dreamberry,
- lolololoki,
- nice pjs kenken,
- raeg moed,
- seriously i hate you guys,
- shut up youji,
- so getting trolled for this,
- yuriko has a tag too
no subject
Date: 2010-07-19 12:51 am (UTC)[Ken lifts the Dreamberry away again, this time to stare at it in complete bewilderment. What the-- why the Hell would she want to see something like that? Why doesn't she just go talk to that lunatic who thinks he's a Death God, then?]
What the Hell? You think that would be something fun?
[... not that Ken would have any trouble dreaming about it, either. Christ, and to think he'd liked this dream because it didn't involve that!]
no subject
Date: 2010-07-19 12:57 am (UTC)You did ask what I would prefer, right?
no subject
Date: 2010-07-19 01:10 am (UTC)[Maybe he just sucks at sarcasm. Honestly, you'd think after all this time around Youji that something would have rubbed off on him, right?]
Geez, It's not like I can control what I dream about! Why'd you wanna watch someone getting killed anyway>?
no subject
Date: 2010-07-19 01:15 am (UTC)Why not? It's always an interesting watch, don't~ you~ think~♪ You wouldn't know how the other party would react.
no subject
Date: 2010-07-19 01:30 am (UTC)Why would I find something like that interesting? Dammit, I don't wanna have to see that in my sleep--
[I've seen it quite enough already.]
Wait, what'd you mean, other party? You think I should be dreaming about killing someone I know?!
no subject
Date: 2010-07-19 01:40 am (UTC)[ She nods and looks thoughtful, yes. Yes, she's pondering about this. Hm. ] Other people might find it interesting. You seem like a really nice guy after all~♪ It'll be a change in your pace, right?
no subject
Date: 2010-07-19 02:08 am (UTC)[He doesn't. He never did. Yeah, Ken seems like a nice guy. Just seems like one. It wouldn't be much of a change of pace--!
[Not that he can tell this girl that. Or anybody, for that matter. Weird and ever so slightly unsettling and fascinated with stuff girls (or anyone, for that matter) really shouldn't be fascinated with maybe, but - well, seriously. Some things you just can't explain, and Ken doesn't want to try to either.]
I don't want to be that kind of interesting guy!
[Too bad, so sad.]
no subject
Date: 2010-07-19 02:10 am (UTC)[ She smiles oh-so innocently. ] Are you sure about that?
no subject
Date: 2010-07-19 02:13 am (UTC)Of course I don't! Why would I want something like that?
no subject
Date: 2010-07-19 02:18 am (UTC)[ WHY NOT KEN SHE DOESN'T MEAN HARM >: Giggles. ] Isn't it human nature to want to destroy things?
no subject
Date: 2010-07-19 02:50 am (UTC)[I've just had a bad morning that's all and who does this woman think she's calling adorable anyway?]
Stuff's different! And even if it is that still doesn't mean I want to kill people!
[Ken, you're an assassin.
[I know. But I don't want to be.]
no subject
Date: 2010-07-19 02:55 am (UTC)[ Tilts her head. ] Different? Different how? All humans are the same even if you deny it. It's in your nature after all.
no subject
Date: 2010-07-19 03:09 am (UTC)Say what in my nature? Why'd you leave yourself out of that?
no subject
Date: 2010-07-19 03:10 am (UTC)Why do you think?
no subject
Date: 2010-07-19 03:15 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-07-19 03:15 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-07-19 03:24 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-07-19 03:27 am (UTC)[ Aaand have a smile. ] What's your name before you go?
no subject
Date: 2010-07-19 03:37 am (UTC)[He contemplates not telling this girl his name, or out and out lying - but what would the point of that be when the stupid Dreamberry would likely make any attempt to do that totally meaningless? Besides, it's just his name. Ain't like that's any great secret--]
Ken. Can I go now?
no subject
Date: 2010-07-19 03:39 am (UTC)[ Have another :> smile ] I won't keep you to myself anymore then~♪
no subject
Date: 2010-07-19 03:43 am (UTC)You won't what? What's that supposed to mean?!
no subject
Date: 2010-07-19 03:45 am (UTC)What's what supposed to mean? And didn't you say you were going?
no subject
Date: 2010-07-19 03:48 am (UTC)[He hesitates for a moment, then quickly adds:]
... and I've got things to do!
no subject
Date: 2010-07-19 03:56 am (UTC)[ Pauses then-- ] Or did you really want me to keep you? Not that I mind, of course. You're really rather cute~
no subject
Date: 2010-07-19 05:08 am (UTC)Bye.
[He'll be disconnecting the call now and just... kinda staring at the Dreamberry for a moment or two. Who was that?]