Dream 04 → 'The Love Which Suffers'
Jul. 16th, 2010 11:18 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
irregularWarnings: Spoilers of a not exactly critical nature for the fifth episode of a ten-year-old anime series. Head canon. Nowhere near as angsty as the title might imply.
Dream Effects: A mixture of happiness, regret and love.
I'm sorry.
She's walking to the car when the handle breaks, and the bag's contents are spilled across the dusty surface of the lot. She curses - something mild, she's cursing in Japanese.
Ken hurries to her side, snatching up bottles and packets and a bag of rice, mercifully unsplit. A car honks its horn behind them and she raises her head, a hank of sun-warmed, autumn-gold hair slipping off her shoulder to fall in her face as she waves the driver back, rattling off something that Ken can't quite catch. He retrieves a bottle of soy sauce, lifts the bag from her arms. He smiles, and his smile is awkward.
Her English is a lot better than Ken's is. Ken's is clumsy, a parody. It's funny, really. The older guy (check shirt and big red face, white-guy smell with sun oil and cooking smoke) runs the store jokes with her about it. He likes her. Everyone likes her, she's an easy woman to like and if they wonder what she sees in him, they're not the only ones. The old guy says he's seen them before, these Japanese couples, but it's usually the girl hangs back and smiles and fidgets awkwardly with her hair or her bag while the guy does the talking. She laughs, and only laughs the harder when Ken scowls.
Hey, I learn English!
I know you do. Hon, he's just teasing. Come on.
Come on. The car's secondhand at the very least, it's blue and constantly dust-covered and every single time they argue about who's going to have to drive it. She doesn't like cars any more than Ken does, but the extra space is useful. Or it will be, if they ever--
Dear Yuriko
Hi there, Yuriko
Yuriko, my
Yuriko. I'm sorry.
She's standing by the window. Her mother's written another of those interminable goddamn letters and she's reading it, or rereading it, by the light of a storm. She sighs. Throws the letter to the table. Picks it up again. He tries to put his arms round her: exasperated, unwilling to be comforted, she moves away.
Honestly. She sighs, irritably. Irritably, she shakes her head. Does she think I'm incapable?
Yuriko, she's on the other side of the damn planet. Can't you just--
You're missing the point!
Can't you just chuck it away? It's not like she'll know if you've read it.
You're missing the point, Ken! She waves the letter at him. He closes his eyes, frustrated. She sends me this stuff because she thinks I can't--
For God's sake does it matter what she thinks? She's not here!
It's going to rain. The clouds rumble tentatively, almost experimentally, as if they're trying to work out what it would be like. He'd turn the lights on but what good would that do? She's just in one of those moods, she always is when she goes those letters. Just don't open them, he tells her, but she (why can't you be more like your sister?) she always does and this always happens and what the Hell's the point?
Oh, you just don't understand!
You're right, he says quietly. I don't. I'm tired of this, Yuriko, I'm going to bed.
I can't be with you tomorrow. Please--
--always katsu-don. That's not too out there, is it?
They don't like Japanese food, Ken. Weren't you listening the last five hundred times I said it?
Yeah well I don't like Australian food and I'm not complaining.
Yes, you are.
No I'm not!
Yes you are, you're complaining now--
--please, don't ask me why. I promise you it's not your fault. I just can't go. I wish I could, but I can't.
I'm sorry.I
There are other what-ifs, of course. There's a road and a mountain and a girl and he can't help but wonder what would have happened, what he'd have been like, if he'd ignored that turn-off and gone the other way - or if he'd stayed at home, sat in his room and sulked. He'd very nearly done them both...
You were always way too I should never ha Sorry for all the crossings out. I'm not very good at this.
I'm still glad we met.
Now he sits at the kitchen table (Youji shut up that's from a movie go to Hell) and labors over a letter. He looks at the clock and he's written four lines, and it's half past three in the morning and he doesn't know what to say...
The next time Ken looks up, the clock's not there any more. He's seeing her now as he first saw her, stood in a field of flowers and shaking the hair loose from her helmet. It wasn't love at first sight, nothing as (let's face facts) as corny as that. It was just the feeling, looking at her, that this woman was going to be important. That she wasn't simply going to check him for bruises then, with a smile and a wave, walk out of his life as suddenly and strangely as she had appeared. He wasn't getting out of this one that easily...
Yuriko. She stands there, one hand on her hip and she smiles - she's smiling at him.
She holds out her hand, and he takes it: that's all.
I love you, Yuriko. That's why I can't be there.
[Ken smiles in his sleep, turning onto his side and knocking the Dreamberry to the floor, where the recording cuts off. He doesn't wake up, so doesn't notice that the small cut flower on his nightstand is glowing faintly.]
Dream Effects: A mixture of happiness, regret and love.
I'm sorry.
She's walking to the car when the handle breaks, and the bag's contents are spilled across the dusty surface of the lot. She curses - something mild, she's cursing in Japanese.
Ken hurries to her side, snatching up bottles and packets and a bag of rice, mercifully unsplit. A car honks its horn behind them and she raises her head, a hank of sun-warmed, autumn-gold hair slipping off her shoulder to fall in her face as she waves the driver back, rattling off something that Ken can't quite catch. He retrieves a bottle of soy sauce, lifts the bag from her arms. He smiles, and his smile is awkward.
Her English is a lot better than Ken's is. Ken's is clumsy, a parody. It's funny, really. The older guy (check shirt and big red face, white-guy smell with sun oil and cooking smoke) runs the store jokes with her about it. He likes her. Everyone likes her, she's an easy woman to like and if they wonder what she sees in him, they're not the only ones. The old guy says he's seen them before, these Japanese couples, but it's usually the girl hangs back and smiles and fidgets awkwardly with her hair or her bag while the guy does the talking. She laughs, and only laughs the harder when Ken scowls.
Hey, I learn English!
I know you do. Hon, he's just teasing. Come on.
Come on. The car's secondhand at the very least, it's blue and constantly dust-covered and every single time they argue about who's going to have to drive it. She doesn't like cars any more than Ken does, but the extra space is useful. Or it will be, if they ever--
Yuriko. I'm sorry.
She's standing by the window. Her mother's written another of those interminable goddamn letters and she's reading it, or rereading it, by the light of a storm. She sighs. Throws the letter to the table. Picks it up again. He tries to put his arms round her: exasperated, unwilling to be comforted, she moves away.
Honestly. She sighs, irritably. Irritably, she shakes her head. Does she think I'm incapable?
Yuriko, she's on the other side of the damn planet. Can't you just--
You're missing the point!
Can't you just chuck it away? It's not like she'll know if you've read it.
You're missing the point, Ken! She waves the letter at him. He closes his eyes, frustrated. She sends me this stuff because she thinks I can't--
For God's sake does it matter what she thinks? She's not here!
It's going to rain. The clouds rumble tentatively, almost experimentally, as if they're trying to work out what it would be like. He'd turn the lights on but what good would that do? She's just in one of those moods, she always is when she goes those letters. Just don't open them, he tells her, but she (why can't you be more like your sister?) she always does and this always happens and what the Hell's the point?
Oh, you just don't understand!
You're right, he says quietly. I don't. I'm tired of this, Yuriko, I'm going to bed.
I can't be with you tomorrow. Please--
--always katsu-don. That's not too out there, is it?
They don't like Japanese food, Ken. Weren't you listening the last five hundred times I said it?
Yeah well I don't like Australian food and I'm not complaining.
Yes, you are.
No I'm not!
Yes you are, you're complaining now--
--please, don't ask me why. I promise you it's not your fault. I just can't go. I wish I could, but I can't.
I'm sorry.
There are other what-ifs, of course. There's a road and a mountain and a girl and he can't help but wonder what would have happened, what he'd have been like, if he'd ignored that turn-off and gone the other way - or if he'd stayed at home, sat in his room and sulked. He'd very nearly done them both...
I'm still glad we met.
Now he sits at the kitchen table (Youji shut up that's from a movie go to Hell) and labors over a letter. He looks at the clock and he's written four lines, and it's half past three in the morning and he doesn't know what to say...
The next time Ken looks up, the clock's not there any more. He's seeing her now as he first saw her, stood in a field of flowers and shaking the hair loose from her helmet. It wasn't love at first sight, nothing as (let's face facts) as corny as that. It was just the feeling, looking at her, that this woman was going to be important. That she wasn't simply going to check him for bruises then, with a smile and a wave, walk out of his life as suddenly and strangely as she had appeared. He wasn't getting out of this one that easily...
Yuriko. She stands there, one hand on her hip and she smiles - she's smiling at him.
She holds out her hand, and he takes it: that's all.
I love you, Yuriko. That's why I can't be there.
[Ken smiles in his sleep, turning onto his side and knocking the Dreamberry to the floor, where the recording cuts off. He doesn't wake up, so doesn't notice that the small cut flower on his nightstand is glowing faintly.]
Tags:
- .dream,
- :diva,
- :hatori sohma,
- :kiyomasa senji,
- :loki,
- :minoru tokito,
- :rei hazama,
- :youji kudou,
- a girl is talking to me help,
- actually i do have a girlfriend kudou,
- brb killing myself,
- gentians are awesome,
- i hate my dreamberry,
- lolololoki,
- nice pjs kenken,
- raeg moed,
- seriously i hate you guys,
- shut up youji,
- so getting trolled for this,
- yuriko has a tag too
Voice
Date: 2010-07-17 06:00 am (UTC)How'd you hide that one from me?
[He's... not sure if he should know this chick or not. He remembers the chick Ken killed, but... aaah, wait. The Freude girl.]
Action
Date: 2010-07-17 06:28 am (UTC)[Ken hangs up, then gets to his feet. He walks over to the door and yanks it open - and, sticking his head out, he yells his answer down the hall. Someone may have had a rough morning.]
I didn't, you followed me! Don't you remember?
[After that guilt trip you pulled on me? You'd damn well better do!]
Voice :DDDDD
Date: 2010-07-17 06:37 am (UTC)It might ring a bell.
[...yeah, he remembers. He's sorry but not sorry.]
ACTION, DAMMIT.
Date: 2010-07-17 06:57 am (UTC)[Oh right. Because you're a lazy ass. Ken sighs in frustration, heading back into his room to retrieve the Dreamberry - the guy likely won't stop calling until he does, after all. He answers the call, hears Youji out, then disconnects again, storming back out into the corridor and across to Youji's room, yanking open the door.
[Youji's lounging on the bed, fully dressed, his nose in a book and the Dreamberry by his side. Okay, Kudou, let's go with that. It's time to play Are You Paying Attention.
[Ken takes aim, and throws his own Dreamberry square at Youji's head.]
You should know! You were the one told me to ditch her, you ass!
[Temper, temper.]
FINE. Action. QUIT YELLING YOU UNCOUTH--wait. It isn't really libel if it's true...
Date: 2010-07-17 07:15 am (UTC)morebrain damage.]Now pick that up.
[He's still reading. Or looking like he is.]
Action and YOU DESERVE IT YOU ASS.
Date: 2010-07-17 07:26 am (UTC)[Okay, later at the very most. It can wait, dammit! Ken takes a couple of paces into the room, setting his hands on his hips as he stares down at Youji sprawled on the bed.]
Did you call just to tell me that or did you actually want something?
Action KEN YOU NEED TO GET LAI--oh, wait. :D
Date: 2010-07-17 07:40 am (UTC)[And back to the book. Ooh, sex scene.]
Action and I THINK HE WAS TRYING TO. This may be the problem.
Date: 2010-07-17 08:57 pm (UTC)[Ken looks at the Dreamberry on the floor and considers picking it up again so he can throw it at Youji's head again. He settles for striding over to Youji's side and snatching the book.
[He's had a bad morning. And Youji, sadly, is right here.]
You'd really forgotten all this?
[You might want to think carefully before answering that one.]
Action and YOU CAN JUST DO WHAT YOUJI DOES! It works.
Date: 2010-07-18 12:02 am (UTC)[Been a while since he's seen Ken this fired up. Even longer since he's seen Ken this fired up and not on a mission.
Ken gets a lifted eyebrow.]
'Forgotten' likely isn't the word, but you'll forgive me if my memory needs the occasional jolt. I never saw the girl.
[...actually, he kinda doubts the forgiveness thing. Still, Youji's used to Ken being Ken.]
KEN CONSIDERS THAT CHEATING. Also, Action
Date: 2010-07-18 01:47 am (UTC)[He snaps the book shut with slightly more force than was strictly necessary, and half-considers tossing that at Youji as well. Sure Youji wouldn't appreciate him throwing his stuff around but at the very least it'd get a reaction out the smug bastard - lying there with his book (well, without it now: the point stood!) like he didn't have a care in the whole damn world-- he's forgiven Youji for his part in the whole Yuriko mess. He did so long ago and, truth be told, he understands why he did it. Of course he's forgiven him! But...
[Ken doesn't like that 'but'.]
You were the one told me I had to leave her, don't you even remember doing that?
It isn't cheating if the relationship was never serious to begin with. And still Action.
Date: 2010-07-18 01:59 am (UTC)And you listened.
[His tone is cool, as he takes out a cigarette. At least the memories are all happy.]
ACTION! Also, your past met your future, etc...
Date: 2010-07-18 02:07 am (UTC)[He wants something to do with his hands. Something short and angry and... dammit why can't he throw this stupid book at Youji? What would be so wrong with that?]
Action~ WHO'S FAULT WAS THAT--okay, mission, but still.
Date: 2010-07-18 02:13 am (UTC)[Youji's expecting the book throw. Ken's also trying his patience.
[He sighs. And speaks in a deliberately blunt, self-explanatory way.]
Because you recognized it as sound advice.
Action and oh no you're not blaming Ken for that one. XD
Date: 2010-07-18 02:24 am (UTC)Thanks a lot but next time can't you wait till I damn well ask for it? And what the Hell's it to you, anyway?
Action and well, stop making it so easy.
Date: 2010-07-18 02:29 am (UTC)[Not answering that second question. It isn't anything to Youji, not really. Just a hope of not seeing another woman suffer needlessly. Possibly even a hope not to see Ken do so.]
NEVER. And action.
Date: 2010-07-18 02:45 am (UTC)[He stops short at Youji's words, and scowls down at the man - and, so suddenly it even almost surprises him, he slams the book down hard on the little side table, one hand pressing down hard against the cover as if he's trying to stop it from getting away. The sudden sharp slap of the cover against the table almost makes him jump.]
Ever stop to think that maybe there's a reason for that?!
ALWAYS. Action.
Date: 2010-07-18 03:22 am (UTC)Quit banging things together before someone wonders what's going on.
[The answer is no, he hasn't. Doesn't really find it necessary.]
no subject
Date: 2010-07-18 04:11 am (UTC)[Ken turns away. Glares angrily at a spot on the wall, one hand still resting on the book. You're not impressing anyone--
[He raises his head, glaring at Youji over on shoulder.]
You wanna tell me the stuff I dream about's too lame for your taste, too?
no subject
Date: 2010-07-28 07:33 am (UTC)This being my area of expertise, I felt the need to comment. That's all.
[Whether Ken interprets this so-called area of expertise as 'women' or 'heartbreak' is left to his own discretion. Youji is rather hoping he goes with the former, but keeps himself watchful. Ken's fussing and banging doesn't deter him. He's seen worse, powered by bloodlust, carried out by weapons.
This is almost what you'd call passe.]