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Feb. 27th, 2019 06:00 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
irregularPlayer name: laila
Player age: Thirtysomething(ish)
Method of contact:![[plurk.com profile]](https://plurk.com/favicon.ico)
sevendials | sevendials#3391 @ Discord
Character name: Hidaka Ken
Character canon: Weiss Kreuz
Canon Summary:
Weiss Kreuz is fucking stupid.
Legally-dead florist-assassin former-athlete-with-ridiculously-crowded-and-nonsensical-backstory stupid.
Because Weiss Kreuz is stupid Ken, at nineteen, has ended up a scandal-tainted legally dead former professional athlete who works as an assassin for a team named Weiss. The team are part of a covert agency set up to deal with men who were getting away with murder by murdering them. That's the plot.
Ken is doing this because he wants to know who got him kicked out of the J-league and then tried to set him on fire, right up to the point he actually finds the man: his best friend Kase. Kase, assumed to have died the same night Ken did, turns out to be so alive Weiss are ordered to assassinate him, but Ken is unwilling to believe he knows his boss is a gangster. His attempt to prove Kase does not deserve his place on Weiss's hit list only makes it painfully obvious Kase was behind everything all along. Kase tries to kill Ken again, but this time Ken's ready for it.
Not long after Kase's death, Ken runs into a girl named Yuriko after she nearly gets him killed in an impromptu bike race. Naturally they hit it off, though Ken's inability to read for context has him share a room with Yuriko and choose to sleep on the floor. Yuriko, fortunately, finds this sweet. When she quits her tedious office job to move to Australia, she asks Ken to go with her. He impulsively says yes, but several unpleasant reminders of the reality of his situation see Ken breaking it off to keep her safe.
Weiss then get involved in a chain of events that see them murdering practically every single member of the powerful Takatori family concluding with the patriarch, who was elected Prime Minister and immediately staged a coup. The team disband after his death, but then shit starts getting weird. After he is nearly killed again, Ken reconciles himself to the fact you can't really quit these kinds of jobs and Weiss is reformed.
Shortly afterward Ken befriends a motherly woman named Ruth, a former nun - just in time for the local one-eyed homicidal maniac, who turns out to be her estranged son, to start murdering his way through Tokyo's tiny Catholic population. Ken's attempt to keep Ruth safe ends about as well as his reunion with Kase did when Ruth sacrifices herself to save him from her lunatic offspring.
Then a group of cultists try to summon a demon.
It doesn't work.
In the process, Ken's teammate Aya's comatose sister is repeatedly kidnapped, another girl who looks identical gets kidnapped as well, Japan plunges into heatwave-fuelled anarchy, another teammate's brainwashed and crazy not-dead dead girlfriend shows up to get killed, and Weiss wonder why any of this is their problem but gear up to save the day anyway. They manage, saving the little sister and her not-twin, but apparently all lose their lives in the process. Except not, because there's sequels.
Character in Canon:
In day-to-day life, Ken comes across as everybody's brother. Sporty and fond of food and kids, he appears a perfectly ordinary nineteen-year-old boy, uncomplicated though somewhat naive: he's lively, aggressively cheerful, extroverted, impulsive, easily riled, occasionally oblivious and almost entirely terrible with girls, and for all his usual cheerful confidence he's pretty easy to embarrass. His tendency toward late-adolescent awkwardness becomes especially pronounced in his dealings with women, especially if they're showing clear interest in him. He gets round this problem by making a habit of falling in love by mistake, which is pretty much the only reason he got anywhere with Yuriko.
Ken's general hopelessness with women can be explained thusly: when he got together with Yuriko, Youji thought the very idea that Ken's sudden cheerfulness could be explained by a new girlfriend was hilarious, while Omi couldn't get his head round the concept. Nor could Ken, who reacted to Yuriko's obvious displays of interest by 1) attempting to leave the room, the building and possibly the prefecture; 2) sleeping on the floor; and 3) needing to be rebooted after she kissed him on the cheek. For all this, he fell fast - to the point that when Yuriko, an incredibly impulsive woman in her own right, mentioned she was emigrating to Australia and asked if he wanted to come with her, his response was 'Okay!'. While Youji's reality check was both hypocritical and unfair, he had a point: going to Australia with a woman you've known for three weeks when you can't speak a word of English is really not the world's greatest idea even without the whole legally-dead-contract-killer issue to muddy the waters.
Once Ken has put his faith in someone, it's very, very difficult to convince him to break it. It took being set on fire, left for dead, and then shot repeatedly to convince him that Kase - a childhood friend Ken was exceedingly attached to - genuinely was as bad as Kritiker were painting him. Loyal to a fault, and nothing if he's not stubborn, Ken clung to the idea that Kase was innocent, just as he had with his mother figure Kaoruko Amamiya some months earlier - and, in both cases, it took hard and horrifying proof before he was prepared to believe it. Ken has developed quite pronounced abandonment issues as a result - he finds letting go of the people he cares about extremely difficult, and is prepared to go to extreme lengths to stay with them. He is, however, ultimately flexible. He's dealt with a lot of change and uncertainty in his life, and a lot of sudden reversals. For all his stubbornness Ken is a survivor: while he might not like letting go, he certainly understands why it's necessary.
Another of Ken's most noticeable traits is his temper, which could only be described as 'short' and has not been improved by a crash course in working retail. It's not particularly difficult to irritate him; he also has a tendency to fall back on defensive anger when he's flustered or upset. It's far more unusual for him to stay angry for very long. Though he can be extremely hostile toward strangers - especially to strangers he's expected to work with - and frequently loses his temper with the people he cares for, in these cases his anger has no genuine, long-lasting malice behind it. He's the kind of person you want on your side in a fight - as long as he's still standing he won't give up, and if he goes down at all he'll go down swinging. Prepared to give his all to protect the people he cares about, Ken believes the best about the people he considers friends: it takes a lot to make him turn on them even reluctantly. His loyalty isn't simply to people, though: he's prepared to go to the wall for what he believes in, even if it means going against his friends.
Ken is something of a perfectionist. Simply, he likes to be good at the things that he does - a trait that was benign enough when he was simply trying to be the absolute best soccer player he possibly could be. He tries, despite his lack of any real interest in the job, to be a good florist. But he spends his nights working as a hired killer, and there's a part of him that wants to be good at that too. He believes that his actions are sinful - while he is prepared to grant that Weiss may be a necessary evil, he still thinks what they do is wrong - and, perhaps in part to his Catholic upbringing, often feels profoundly guilty about it, but no matter how much he may dislike and disapprove of what he does he still wants to do it well.
Ken is a forthright person, sometimes to the point of tactlessness. If he doesn't see the point in doing something he'll say so, and repeatedly, regardless of how tactless his behavior might seem. He speaks his mind, often without considering how what he says will come across, still less if maybe it would be wiser to say nothing, and is nothing if not loose-tongued. He's a self-proclaimed 'action guy', preferring to act first and think about it later if at all, leaving him with a tendency toward recklessness which is only heightened when under stress. He's got the kind of mind that considers setting something on fire to be a great distraction tactic, without much regard for what might happen after that. Planning, for Ken, is something for other people to tell him about.
Though he's a lot less open than he initially appears, and its clear from his abandonment issues and his struggles with guilt that he only looks to be an uncomplicated, untroubled soul, Ken is still something of an innocent, an optimist at heart with a strong sense of self. For all that Omi is two years younger, and he was not the last one to join, he is in some respects very much the team's junior member, and horribly ill-suited for the job.
Character in Imeeji:
Ken is Catholic enough and has enough of a guilt complex that he would not be entirely surprised to end up in Hell one of these days - even without memories he's likely to accept that much with a well-that-figures fatalism that comes with the feeling that something like this was probably inevitable. The thing that is more likely to give him pause and consider the system to be pretty screwed up is the presence of other people, especially those who do not seem like the type to have done anything bad enough to be there. He may not feel that he deserves to get out - though he's not so scrupulously self-sacrificing he'd turn down an escape route if he found one and his taking it wouldn't screw someone he cared about over - but he'll fight to the death for the people who he thinks do.
One of the key things about Ken is that he knows who he is. He might not know why he thinks the way he does, but he won't think to question it. His memories, while important to him, do not shape him to the extent that robbing him of them would leave him adrift and uncertain of his place in the world or his understanding of it. He understands that he doesn't much like being Ken and really doesn't want to stop it any time soon. He understands that the wold is unfair and often very cruel. He knows that the innocent deserve protection and that he is not one of them, so he might as well do what he can to protect those who are - especially those he would consider to be children.
The fact that there are people in Imeeji that Ken would think of as kids first and foremost will be a source of constant aggravation, and instant and enduring resentment with the producers, their agenda, and their terminally fucked-up aim. His reaction to the games will be one of angry confusion - and a certain degree of resignation. If this is Hell, they'd seem very much to fit. They'd convince him he was right where he belonged, especially following a memory regain or three, and that an awful lot of other people should be nowhere near it. Maybe he doesn't deserve any better, but he'll be impossible to convince that others do.
Even without knowing why, Ken is going to retain the thought processes of an assassin. While he is and will remain a terrible judge of character when it comes to those he is predisposed to care about, he understands very well that appearances can be deceptive and that letting his guard down around the wrong person could be lethal. He's prone to make snap judgements about people and to cling to those preconceptions hard: once he's come to a conclusion, it takes a lot to convince him of the opposite.
Regaining memories of being a literal cold-blooded murderer will understandably leave him appalled and confused - and incredibly disinclined to share or talk about them. He likes his cover where it is. Realizing what he is will cause guilt, shame and self-loathing, though not quite so much in the way of shock as they would for someone who had taken him utterly at face value. For someone who seems very open, he plays a lot very close to his chest. Simply living in his body, however, will be enough to give away that his past has not been easy: his line of work and the manner of his perceived public death in a warehouse fire has left him with some quite extensive scarring that even he would not be capable of simply writing off as the results of an ordinary and blameless life. Between that and the muscle memory that would steer him through a fight, he's going to know from the start that there's something odd about him. Ordinary people do not look like him, do not view the world like him, and they do not know how to break a guy's arm like him.
Ken is friendly but irritable: being stranded in Murder City without a map is not likely to bring the better side of his nature much to the fore. He is, however, very much a team player and would be fiercely loyal to his unit from the first whether they wanted him to be or not. Is his unit getting along? They should be goddamn well getting along because that's how this works. He is used to being one of a group and part of a team, and while he isn't naive enough to think this means he has to be best friends with everyone he meets, he will have some very definite views about teams who spend as much time at each other's throats than anyone else's. He is a perfectionist, and simply playing the game is not enough: he has to do it well.
Unit Preferences:
Priority: AlcheME!, Wild City
Acceptable: Bad End=Dead End, Heart Soldier Senshi, Avante en Garde
Do not place: future is now, BARiTONES, LiLiS, pep!pep! ☆ZRAEL, Taisho Roman Revolution
Voice Samples:
SURVEY:
Evaluate yourself honestly: what do you think your soul is worth?
Honestly? Right now? Fuck-all. Um, most people would lead up to this, you know. Like, birthday? Favorite food? You don't want to get any of that out the way first? We're really going straight to what is the state of your immortal fucking soul? You trying to surprise people into saying something?
Is there anything you would do anything to achieve?
Depends what you mean by 'anything'. Because if you really mean anything anything then no. Can't think of much out there that's worth getting set on fire for and that's - well, it's normal, isn't it? That's not really 'anything'. What kind of a question is this? What kind of a person can't think of one line they wouldn't cross if it killed them? Nobody'd do anything for anything.
What does hell mean to you?
... wait, am I back in Sunday School or something? Um... something a lot of people deserve but way more don't? I mean, don't get me wrong, it's nice to think God'll sort it all out in the end, but - that only works if you're sure He's out there. Most days, I figure I'm not so sure.
Which of these nine words is the most meaningful to you, and why? Idolatry, lies, transgressions, vengeance, sorcery, plague, devastation, inquisition, or temptation?
Fuck. Just one? How about they're all pretty-goddamn-loaded except for sorcery? Because if you want me to start narrowing this down you're gonna have to give me the list ag--oh, plague! Yeah, that one doesn't mean shit either. Pretty weak on idolatry too, come to think of it. Is a top three okay? I'll go with transgression, lies and vengeance, I guess, and fuck knows what order. I mean, you could ask me again on Tuesday and I'd probably get it wrong already...
Do you want a puppy?
What? Well, yeah, I mean who doesn't want a puppy--you couldn't have started with this?
Have you previously owned a puppy?
Never worked out that way, no. The apartment was too small and mom wouldn't have had the energy, and there's no way it'd have happened after that. It'd be nice to have a dog, though. You could take it for runs and things, and it wouldn't bullshit you if it wasn't in the mood for it.
Are you worried we've been recording this conversation?
You have? Well, I'm certainly worried now. Where are you gonna be keeping that thing, what's the point?
Do you have any last words for us?
Sure. Can I go now?
MONOLOGUE:
Please introduce yourself and tell us why you deserve to be alive.
Fucking really? The Hell kind of a speech is this? Hey, why don't you throw yourself on the mercy of the court or something? You better not be recording this, too. Okay, okay, I'm doing it, just give me a goddamn minute, would you!?
Right. Christ, this is such a load of-- Anyway. Hi, I'm Ken, I'm nineteen, my hobbies are soccer and cookery and... I'm pretty sure I don't, actually. Yeah. Yeah, I'm pretty sure. I - I mean don't get me wrong I want to be but if we're talking what-you-deserve that's kind of different, right? And... I guess I'd rather any court out there saved its mercy for someone who deserved that. There's a lot of people did the wrong things for the right reasons, and... maybe I thought I might be one of them once, but now I'm not so sure. I'm not sure the guy who wanted them done wanted the right things done either and that's not exactly gonna help. Only God can judge and get it right. We should've both left it up to Him.
I guess this sounds pretty reckless. Suicidal. I suppose. But - I dunno. I can't just stand up here and say a bunch of crap about how I'm such a nice person and I help old ladies across the street and all that when I... don't. Okay so I wouldn't leave an old lady on the kerb just because I could, but it takes a lot more than that to be - if you're gonna look at everything - you can do all that and still be a terrible person if you'd do... some of the stuff I've done as well. It's no good just being good when the lights are on.
I don't want to die. I'd... do a lot, to make sure I didn't. But I'm not about to bullshit about what I deserve.
Player age: Thirtysomething(ish)
Method of contact:
Character name: Hidaka Ken
Character canon: Weiss Kreuz
Canon Summary:
Weiss Kreuz is fucking stupid.
Legally-dead florist-assassin former-athlete-with-ridiculously-crowded-and-nonsensical-backstory stupid.
Because Weiss Kreuz is stupid Ken, at nineteen, has ended up a scandal-tainted legally dead former professional athlete who works as an assassin for a team named Weiss. The team are part of a covert agency set up to deal with men who were getting away with murder by murdering them. That's the plot.
Ken is doing this because he wants to know who got him kicked out of the J-league and then tried to set him on fire, right up to the point he actually finds the man: his best friend Kase. Kase, assumed to have died the same night Ken did, turns out to be so alive Weiss are ordered to assassinate him, but Ken is unwilling to believe he knows his boss is a gangster. His attempt to prove Kase does not deserve his place on Weiss's hit list only makes it painfully obvious Kase was behind everything all along. Kase tries to kill Ken again, but this time Ken's ready for it.
Not long after Kase's death, Ken runs into a girl named Yuriko after she nearly gets him killed in an impromptu bike race. Naturally they hit it off, though Ken's inability to read for context has him share a room with Yuriko and choose to sleep on the floor. Yuriko, fortunately, finds this sweet. When she quits her tedious office job to move to Australia, she asks Ken to go with her. He impulsively says yes, but several unpleasant reminders of the reality of his situation see Ken breaking it off to keep her safe.
Weiss then get involved in a chain of events that see them murdering practically every single member of the powerful Takatori family concluding with the patriarch, who was elected Prime Minister and immediately staged a coup. The team disband after his death, but then shit starts getting weird. After he is nearly killed again, Ken reconciles himself to the fact you can't really quit these kinds of jobs and Weiss is reformed.
Shortly afterward Ken befriends a motherly woman named Ruth, a former nun - just in time for the local one-eyed homicidal maniac, who turns out to be her estranged son, to start murdering his way through Tokyo's tiny Catholic population. Ken's attempt to keep Ruth safe ends about as well as his reunion with Kase did when Ruth sacrifices herself to save him from her lunatic offspring.
Then a group of cultists try to summon a demon.
It doesn't work.
In the process, Ken's teammate Aya's comatose sister is repeatedly kidnapped, another girl who looks identical gets kidnapped as well, Japan plunges into heatwave-fuelled anarchy, another teammate's brainwashed and crazy not-dead dead girlfriend shows up to get killed, and Weiss wonder why any of this is their problem but gear up to save the day anyway. They manage, saving the little sister and her not-twin, but apparently all lose their lives in the process. Except not, because there's sequels.
Character in Canon:
In day-to-day life, Ken comes across as everybody's brother. Sporty and fond of food and kids, he appears a perfectly ordinary nineteen-year-old boy, uncomplicated though somewhat naive: he's lively, aggressively cheerful, extroverted, impulsive, easily riled, occasionally oblivious and almost entirely terrible with girls, and for all his usual cheerful confidence he's pretty easy to embarrass. His tendency toward late-adolescent awkwardness becomes especially pronounced in his dealings with women, especially if they're showing clear interest in him. He gets round this problem by making a habit of falling in love by mistake, which is pretty much the only reason he got anywhere with Yuriko.
Ken's general hopelessness with women can be explained thusly: when he got together with Yuriko, Youji thought the very idea that Ken's sudden cheerfulness could be explained by a new girlfriend was hilarious, while Omi couldn't get his head round the concept. Nor could Ken, who reacted to Yuriko's obvious displays of interest by 1) attempting to leave the room, the building and possibly the prefecture; 2) sleeping on the floor; and 3) needing to be rebooted after she kissed him on the cheek. For all this, he fell fast - to the point that when Yuriko, an incredibly impulsive woman in her own right, mentioned she was emigrating to Australia and asked if he wanted to come with her, his response was 'Okay!'. While Youji's reality check was both hypocritical and unfair, he had a point: going to Australia with a woman you've known for three weeks when you can't speak a word of English is really not the world's greatest idea even without the whole legally-dead-contract-killer issue to muddy the waters.
Once Ken has put his faith in someone, it's very, very difficult to convince him to break it. It took being set on fire, left for dead, and then shot repeatedly to convince him that Kase - a childhood friend Ken was exceedingly attached to - genuinely was as bad as Kritiker were painting him. Loyal to a fault, and nothing if he's not stubborn, Ken clung to the idea that Kase was innocent, just as he had with his mother figure Kaoruko Amamiya some months earlier - and, in both cases, it took hard and horrifying proof before he was prepared to believe it. Ken has developed quite pronounced abandonment issues as a result - he finds letting go of the people he cares about extremely difficult, and is prepared to go to extreme lengths to stay with them. He is, however, ultimately flexible. He's dealt with a lot of change and uncertainty in his life, and a lot of sudden reversals. For all his stubbornness Ken is a survivor: while he might not like letting go, he certainly understands why it's necessary.
Another of Ken's most noticeable traits is his temper, which could only be described as 'short' and has not been improved by a crash course in working retail. It's not particularly difficult to irritate him; he also has a tendency to fall back on defensive anger when he's flustered or upset. It's far more unusual for him to stay angry for very long. Though he can be extremely hostile toward strangers - especially to strangers he's expected to work with - and frequently loses his temper with the people he cares for, in these cases his anger has no genuine, long-lasting malice behind it. He's the kind of person you want on your side in a fight - as long as he's still standing he won't give up, and if he goes down at all he'll go down swinging. Prepared to give his all to protect the people he cares about, Ken believes the best about the people he considers friends: it takes a lot to make him turn on them even reluctantly. His loyalty isn't simply to people, though: he's prepared to go to the wall for what he believes in, even if it means going against his friends.
Ken is something of a perfectionist. Simply, he likes to be good at the things that he does - a trait that was benign enough when he was simply trying to be the absolute best soccer player he possibly could be. He tries, despite his lack of any real interest in the job, to be a good florist. But he spends his nights working as a hired killer, and there's a part of him that wants to be good at that too. He believes that his actions are sinful - while he is prepared to grant that Weiss may be a necessary evil, he still thinks what they do is wrong - and, perhaps in part to his Catholic upbringing, often feels profoundly guilty about it, but no matter how much he may dislike and disapprove of what he does he still wants to do it well.
Ken is a forthright person, sometimes to the point of tactlessness. If he doesn't see the point in doing something he'll say so, and repeatedly, regardless of how tactless his behavior might seem. He speaks his mind, often without considering how what he says will come across, still less if maybe it would be wiser to say nothing, and is nothing if not loose-tongued. He's a self-proclaimed 'action guy', preferring to act first and think about it later if at all, leaving him with a tendency toward recklessness which is only heightened when under stress. He's got the kind of mind that considers setting something on fire to be a great distraction tactic, without much regard for what might happen after that. Planning, for Ken, is something for other people to tell him about.
Though he's a lot less open than he initially appears, and its clear from his abandonment issues and his struggles with guilt that he only looks to be an uncomplicated, untroubled soul, Ken is still something of an innocent, an optimist at heart with a strong sense of self. For all that Omi is two years younger, and he was not the last one to join, he is in some respects very much the team's junior member, and horribly ill-suited for the job.
Character in Imeeji:
Ken is Catholic enough and has enough of a guilt complex that he would not be entirely surprised to end up in Hell one of these days - even without memories he's likely to accept that much with a well-that-figures fatalism that comes with the feeling that something like this was probably inevitable. The thing that is more likely to give him pause and consider the system to be pretty screwed up is the presence of other people, especially those who do not seem like the type to have done anything bad enough to be there. He may not feel that he deserves to get out - though he's not so scrupulously self-sacrificing he'd turn down an escape route if he found one and his taking it wouldn't screw someone he cared about over - but he'll fight to the death for the people who he thinks do.
One of the key things about Ken is that he knows who he is. He might not know why he thinks the way he does, but he won't think to question it. His memories, while important to him, do not shape him to the extent that robbing him of them would leave him adrift and uncertain of his place in the world or his understanding of it. He understands that he doesn't much like being Ken and really doesn't want to stop it any time soon. He understands that the wold is unfair and often very cruel. He knows that the innocent deserve protection and that he is not one of them, so he might as well do what he can to protect those who are - especially those he would consider to be children.
The fact that there are people in Imeeji that Ken would think of as kids first and foremost will be a source of constant aggravation, and instant and enduring resentment with the producers, their agenda, and their terminally fucked-up aim. His reaction to the games will be one of angry confusion - and a certain degree of resignation. If this is Hell, they'd seem very much to fit. They'd convince him he was right where he belonged, especially following a memory regain or three, and that an awful lot of other people should be nowhere near it. Maybe he doesn't deserve any better, but he'll be impossible to convince that others do.
Even without knowing why, Ken is going to retain the thought processes of an assassin. While he is and will remain a terrible judge of character when it comes to those he is predisposed to care about, he understands very well that appearances can be deceptive and that letting his guard down around the wrong person could be lethal. He's prone to make snap judgements about people and to cling to those preconceptions hard: once he's come to a conclusion, it takes a lot to convince him of the opposite.
Regaining memories of being a literal cold-blooded murderer will understandably leave him appalled and confused - and incredibly disinclined to share or talk about them. He likes his cover where it is. Realizing what he is will cause guilt, shame and self-loathing, though not quite so much in the way of shock as they would for someone who had taken him utterly at face value. For someone who seems very open, he plays a lot very close to his chest. Simply living in his body, however, will be enough to give away that his past has not been easy: his line of work and the manner of his perceived public death in a warehouse fire has left him with some quite extensive scarring that even he would not be capable of simply writing off as the results of an ordinary and blameless life. Between that and the muscle memory that would steer him through a fight, he's going to know from the start that there's something odd about him. Ordinary people do not look like him, do not view the world like him, and they do not know how to break a guy's arm like him.
Ken is friendly but irritable: being stranded in Murder City without a map is not likely to bring the better side of his nature much to the fore. He is, however, very much a team player and would be fiercely loyal to his unit from the first whether they wanted him to be or not. Is his unit getting along? They should be goddamn well getting along because that's how this works. He is used to being one of a group and part of a team, and while he isn't naive enough to think this means he has to be best friends with everyone he meets, he will have some very definite views about teams who spend as much time at each other's throats than anyone else's. He is a perfectionist, and simply playing the game is not enough: he has to do it well.
Unit Preferences:
Priority: AlcheME!, Wild City
Acceptable: Bad End=Dead End, Heart Soldier Senshi, Avante en Garde
Do not place: future is now, BARiTONES, LiLiS, pep!pep! ☆ZRAEL, Taisho Roman Revolution
Voice Samples:
SURVEY:
Evaluate yourself honestly: what do you think your soul is worth?
Honestly? Right now? Fuck-all. Um, most people would lead up to this, you know. Like, birthday? Favorite food? You don't want to get any of that out the way first? We're really going straight to what is the state of your immortal fucking soul? You trying to surprise people into saying something?
Is there anything you would do anything to achieve?
Depends what you mean by 'anything'. Because if you really mean anything anything then no. Can't think of much out there that's worth getting set on fire for and that's - well, it's normal, isn't it? That's not really 'anything'. What kind of a question is this? What kind of a person can't think of one line they wouldn't cross if it killed them? Nobody'd do anything for anything.
What does hell mean to you?
... wait, am I back in Sunday School or something? Um... something a lot of people deserve but way more don't? I mean, don't get me wrong, it's nice to think God'll sort it all out in the end, but - that only works if you're sure He's out there. Most days, I figure I'm not so sure.
Which of these nine words is the most meaningful to you, and why? Idolatry, lies, transgressions, vengeance, sorcery, plague, devastation, inquisition, or temptation?
Fuck. Just one? How about they're all pretty-goddamn-loaded except for sorcery? Because if you want me to start narrowing this down you're gonna have to give me the list ag--oh, plague! Yeah, that one doesn't mean shit either. Pretty weak on idolatry too, come to think of it. Is a top three okay? I'll go with transgression, lies and vengeance, I guess, and fuck knows what order. I mean, you could ask me again on Tuesday and I'd probably get it wrong already...
Do you want a puppy?
What? Well, yeah, I mean who doesn't want a puppy--you couldn't have started with this?
Have you previously owned a puppy?
Never worked out that way, no. The apartment was too small and mom wouldn't have had the energy, and there's no way it'd have happened after that. It'd be nice to have a dog, though. You could take it for runs and things, and it wouldn't bullshit you if it wasn't in the mood for it.
Are you worried we've been recording this conversation?
You have? Well, I'm certainly worried now. Where are you gonna be keeping that thing, what's the point?
Do you have any last words for us?
Sure. Can I go now?
MONOLOGUE:
Please introduce yourself and tell us why you deserve to be alive.
Fucking really? The Hell kind of a speech is this? Hey, why don't you throw yourself on the mercy of the court or something? You better not be recording this, too. Okay, okay, I'm doing it, just give me a goddamn minute, would you!?
Right. Christ, this is such a load of-- Anyway. Hi, I'm Ken, I'm nineteen, my hobbies are soccer and cookery and... I'm pretty sure I don't, actually. Yeah. Yeah, I'm pretty sure. I - I mean don't get me wrong I want to be but if we're talking what-you-deserve that's kind of different, right? And... I guess I'd rather any court out there saved its mercy for someone who deserved that. There's a lot of people did the wrong things for the right reasons, and... maybe I thought I might be one of them once, but now I'm not so sure. I'm not sure the guy who wanted them done wanted the right things done either and that's not exactly gonna help. Only God can judge and get it right. We should've both left it up to Him.
I guess this sounds pretty reckless. Suicidal. I suppose. But - I dunno. I can't just stand up here and say a bunch of crap about how I'm such a nice person and I help old ladies across the street and all that when I... don't. Okay so I wouldn't leave an old lady on the kerb just because I could, but it takes a lot more than that to be - if you're gonna look at everything - you can do all that and still be a terrible person if you'd do... some of the stuff I've done as well. It's no good just being good when the lights are on.
I don't want to die. I'd... do a lot, to make sure I didn't. But I'm not about to bullshit about what I deserve.
